Patience is a virtue. But I never witnessed much personal satistfaction tied in with patience for me to appreciate it at all -- until now.
Folks, after 17 years of adult life, and 13 years actively searching for that special someone, I may have finally found her in the form of Sheila. I can actually say this with a straight face, and if you see me, you'll see that straight face, along with the proper eye contact.
I don't think I'm joking you or myself this time.
We actually met about three months ago at the airport, when I made a comment about needing to find quality notebook paper which I was going to send to another blog writer. Sheila happened to have several realms of notepads at home and promised to bring them in. Sure enough, she had them the next day. In a world full of broken promises, this deed was noted.
Then, on my way back from Quizno's two weeks ago with a work food run, she stopped me at her newsstand and we talked for almost twenty minutes about everything from airport life to how a relationship should be handled. The following week, we had another great conversation near the snack bar where I make my french fry runs.
Of course, this was noted by the personnel there (the same ones who tried me out with Raquel in the summer), and they did their best to matchmake again. This time, numbers & emails were exchanged.
This time, it worked.
Sheila's generosity knows no bounds, and she says it's the way she was raised. Someone must have overheard my mother's theories on life! Sheila is 25, with a great personality, a good mind on her shoulders, a good heart and oodles of affection (beyond physical). In the only two weeks we've actively talked, she's shown me that affection & caring more than some girls I'd been with for two years.
There are those people who are into finding new mates just for physical compatibility. Without friendship & trust, that will just fall apart. Many is the time I would encounter friends kicking themselves & asking what they'd gotten into. I must admit I fell into that trap a few times; that being part of the price you pay for trying to learn "street-smarts".
Not only have I tired of the age-old "game playing", I was tired of rushing into things without knowing where I was going. People have their whole lives ahead of them no matter what their age, and life is not worth shortening into a couple minutes. Too often we believe the previously-mentioned "Madison Avenue" mantra, which pressures people into acting NOW, without thinking about THEN.
"Do first, ask questions later"? This really doesn't work if you're out for total life fulfillment. Houses & automobiles may be cited as the top huge investments in life, but a relationship cannot be held lightly: it's just as important. It's the rest of your life you hope to be spending with this person - not just one night or one week. Do we see why there's so much distrust among people in general this day & age?
Sheila, by being herself, has made the past look frightfully funny. She is now showing me that I wasn't the oddball at my age who thought relationships & friendships could be enduring without the peer pressure. Some may consider me "dated" by wanting my ideal relationship to resemble my dad & stepmom's. I saw so much warmth and humor in their relationship when I visited them in May. Why do so many couples wage constant wars over wages, wandering eyes, and physical incapacity?
In Sheila, I see a real person, a loving person, a generous person. A person who bailed me out yesterday when my car had given out and, not only drove me home at her suggestion, but drove me to two banks to get my paycheck handled, without question. You had to be there to witness it, but my ideal view of a relationship was reflected right back at me and all I said was, "Ah-ha!"
See, I'm not so stupid. Even my roommate told me, "Don't lose this one." For him to compliment me on anything would stop the presses.
The only press I want to stop is the one that says game-playing invokes interest among couples. Good relationships can still be had.
And maybe I've finally found my own. Patience has its own reward. May I keep winning with this one!
