This "diary" comes totally from short-term memory, which I thought was a total loss entering Garden City Hospital on Christmas Day. Guess some things still work with me.
DECEMBER 24th:
- Came home from a rough day at work; my cab broke down twice due to my stupidity. I set the house temperature to 79 degrees, yet I felt a sharp, stabbing pain in my right shoulder blade and tingling in the toes. I felt very drained and just collapsed on the bed, trying to shake it off under the covers.
I woke up an hour later to utter blackness. The only thing I knew is where I was. Normally I have this annoying habit of a song running through my mind. For the first time in nearly 20 years, nothing. No song. Even trying to get a song in my mind did not work. I tried to move -- and I could not. The first thing I thought was "stroke".
Even moving fingers took five minutes to do after the brain commanded them to. You can only realize how long it took me to get out of bed. I had to roll onto the floor to get out, then use furniture to brace myself up. I lumbered very slowly to the couch, collapsed right in. Dustea (the cat) nuzzled up to me, I couldn't feel her. I couldn't remember her name. There was just a feeling of emptiness, an utter blackness I had never felt before. I was completely frozen.
Getting a beverage took over 20 minutes. Time passed so slowly, minutes seemed like mutliple hours. I couldn't call anyone even if I wanted to, I had no voice, just that annoying cough that started to be bloody. "Zombie" got a new meaning Christmas morning.
By 6 AM, I knew this thing couldn't go un-hospitalized.
DECEMBER 25th:
- Still, I tried to fight going to the hospital, in spite of Laura's pleas to do so. I don't have adequate medical coverage, and I didn't want another bill added to my list. Dustea needed her litter box cleaned; it took 15 minutes to get there. Fell full-force on my rump sitting down at the box. Did the deed, but kept dropping the scoop. Sat there 25 minutes, unable to move or talk. Finally slid myself into the bathroom, though that took awhile too.
After another nap, I decided to finally enter the hospital... I'd pay for the risk later, I thought. Somehow got dressed, and by then was able to stand up well enough to where I'd take the risk of driving there myself. Hell, I still owe something on a 2005 ambulance bill, so no way was I going to call 911. I crawled along at 10 MPH, but the hospital is so close to the house, it didn't matter.
At the hospital: couldn't find the ER entrance, and seemed like every parking spot was designated for someone. I had to park in the boondocks and stagger into the main entrance. After some confusion, I found the ER entrance and buzzed my way in.
My spirits perked up as I saw a sign that said it was state law for them to help me, whether I could pay or not. No more embarassment. I struggled to the desk and filled out the forms...
