... May as well sum up the goings-on in my life lately.
* As you can tell by the subject line, business continues to decline at the cab. When I first hired in, we could do 35-45 calls per night. Now we're lucky if we top off at 30. The recession is hitting everywhere, and the bar calls have literally vanished. Many drivers see empty bar parking lots no matter what time of night it is. The price of having a good time in life seems to have been raised above most peoples' ability to pay. Maybe it's good that they're not getting drunk and becoming menaces to society, but that's what we put our business into! The business model is just not working, and I'm not apt to say anything about it. We can't dictate how well the company does, the economic conditions do that. Safe to say they've spoken loud and clear. I can't say I'm surprised.
I do root for the construction of a major production studio in Allen Park that should have been commenced by now. 3,500 jobs in my craft waiting, and hopefully I can snag one of those without having to be an Allen Park resident.
* Another relationship is off. Why do I even bother at this point? This relationship has been called off due to friendship. Remember, Laura has been there through it all with me, thick and thin, when others (Jenni, Mike, George, Sheila, etc.) have not. The key to this relationship would have been the strong foundation of our six years of friendship. Two weeks ago, we were even thinking about moving together.
Now as much as I say I try not to put the blinders on when pursuing something, that I look both ways before I do so, that's not the case. Without Laura's call saying she'd be "stupid for not saying this", I probably would've been stupid enough to let it proceed and fail. First and foremost, she was not stupid, and she's not been overthinking. I've been underthinking. And I'm sorry it's resulted in yet another long gap in-between conversations, but I've honestly given it a great deal of thought. She mentioned that a botched move would kill the friendship, and she would most likely be right. I don't want to risk physical proof of this, in order to avoid the damaging end result. She wants to move back to the city, and I'd love to see that happen. But with me would be a liability.
I've backed off for now to cool things off. Normally, if I'm involved romantically with someone, or have the opportunity to, there are times I get excited about that person, or imagine a romantic scenario. For some reason, a romantic moment with her cannot be imagined. A romantic rendezvous would almost seem like it would kill anything that was built for six years.
For now, I will chalk it up as crazy talk on both our parts. Perhaps sharing what our ideal lives would be like - in bliss - was meant to be shared, thought about and smiled at. But no further. Both of us are not the easiest people in the world to get along with. Why move, only to find things that turn us off, and realize that hey, we're stuck? Would that improve a friendship & working relationship? Not at all.
For some reason, it's just hard to communicate that verbally. I hope any hurt is at a minimum. Thank goodness most of it is likely averted because we didn't actually set the ball rolling on any move.
Which doesn't necessarily mean any type of move is out of the question. Sometimes, I wonder about motel life. Higher rent, but no utilities. And much less area to be responsible for. I don't even bother with the yardwork now; neighbor Lisa takes care of that. It's hell pushing a lawn mower, especially one that works. And I've already broken my lawn care appliance for the year (the leaf chopper)!
* Steve's wife, Eden, is now with us at last... four long years of waiting on Steve's part is finally over. She seems pretty nice, and the housekeeping issue - long a source of frustration for me - has been taken care of. She is the neat-nik I advertised in this space two years ago.
Now we're in the midst of a huge energy conservation program at the house, which I think borders on the ridiculous. Eliminating the dishwasher was okay, but throwing out the microwave? Unplugging the fridge at night? Having taken the time to measure jumps in the electric meter when one turns appliances on and off? Let's bring out the candles! It's way to the other extreme here, and compromise must take place. I can cut down on some uses, but eliminating them altogether is mind-boggling.
* New car in the fold again - a 1999 Ford Taurus. Other than a slight rod knock and a bad wiper arm, it runs great, the best since the white Sable of 2002-04. I got hosed one final time when unloading the damn Contour, a salvage company advertised guaranteed $150 payout for any car, running or not. What did I get? $75, that's all. The tower noted the busted headlamp lens, the gash on the rear bumper... thank goodness they didn't inspect the inside, or I'd been out the money. Do they expect perfection? I mean, the thing DID run. Just not too well.
* Irene passed away just after New Year's, and in March, relative Gary reared his ugly head and basically dispossessed Diane, Dawn & Dylan from staying there. I spent my birthday helping them move stuff from house to house... this being the day I also got the Taurus. I paid them a visit at the other house Friday, and Dawn got approved for a real fix-me-upper further south, but only about a mile from us. Hope she throws a nice housewarming party. It's weird, though, knowing we don't have to keep an eye on that house anymore. I have no compassion for that family after what they did. The memories are haunting in that house, and probably always will be, especially since it's only known Irene as its owner.
* Physically, I am decent, though I've continued to put on weight, and I found that 2 1/2 games of bowling are about my limit now. Not due to my back, but due to age. My dad was about my age when he realized he couldn't hack it for too much longer.
* And dad's doing well, but it's a little painful to realize he's now 64, not the big hulking guy I knew in my youth, or the guy who broke swim records at his middle school. I guess I'm getting to the point where I realize, more & more, what age can do to a person... age as well as distance, and the infrequency of seeing that person.
And I wrote all this without a phone call coming to the office! Good thing I'm paid for inactivity, but I feel for these drivers who think I've forgotten about them; I used to be one of them.
Will I continue to update regularly on this blog? Depends on the economy... :)
